


I Once Was Lost, But Now I'm Found

by InterPlanetaryGirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, PINING KEITH, Pining Lance (Voltron), Sad Lance (Voltron), eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterPlanetaryGirl/pseuds/InterPlanetaryGirl
Summary: He knew he had a crush on Keith, still, but for it to have unknowingly developed into love. He was not expecting it, nor was he going to tell anybody.It was easier this way, for everybody.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wanted to do one of these for AGEEEEES and I couldn't think of a pairing to do it for, and then I was just thinking about Lance bc I was working on another piece and??? Well hey this started and I couldn't really stop after that so....enjoy!!

Lance knew he had a crush on the guy. It was expected - the guy was probably the only one is existance with the ability to pull off a mullet in this day and age. Honestly, he expected a crush.

It was a shock when he managed to cough up petals, though.

They had been up here for...how long, now? Over a year, nearly two at least.

He knew he had a crush on Keith, still, but for it to have unknowingly developed into love. He was not expecting it, nor was he going to tell anybody. 

It was easier this way, for everybody. 

For the team, as a whole, they would be able to find a more capable, more well-liked paladin for Blue. 

For Shiro, it would mean one less person to keep out of trouble. 

For Allura, it would mean a lack of empty pick-up lines. 

Pidge wouldn't have somebody bugging them and being an unnecessary annoyance when working on projects. 

Keith just wouldn't have to put up with him in general anymore. 

Hunk and Coran- Well, Lance hopes that they might be the only two to miss him in some form, but Lance knows they'll get over his death and go on to do better things and find better company, rather than just him. 

The first time he coughed up flowers, it was just after they'd finished a mission. It was unexpected, and he was late to the team meeting that was held afterwards because he just couldn't stop _staring_ ; at the petals in his palm. He'd assumed the itching in his lungs was some kind of alien version of a cold or something else he was unfamiliar with. Then he went on to be distracted throughout said meeting, earning him several scoldings over how he wasn't paying attention. He couldn't exactly help it, honestly. 

He'd gone to his room and just laid there, on his bed, for hours, thinking about it. 

He wasn't exactly unaware of his feelings, or the disease, but to actually be made aware of them in such a way. It was a wake-up call to say the least. 

He didn't mention it to anybody, even when he coughed up the next collection of white petals. 

He continued to act as though nothing was wrong, because was it? Everything would be okay, right? Everybody would be better off this way, he's sure of it. 

And that's what reminds him to keep going; keep suffering with the constant tickling in his chest, the way it ache at times, or knocks the wind out of him randomly and without reason, the simple yet agonising pain it causes when he has to cough up more. 

He feels the way it crawls up his lungs, filling his lungs, because his breaths are either short and heavy, or long and measured. The way the petals and stalks brush against the inside lining of his lungs when he coughs, or jostles during battle. It took away from his sleeping time often, because he was made too uncomfortable, but still he didn't mention it to anybody. 

Instead he began spending more time with his team members more genuinely - in the sense that there is less joking around from him, and he makes sure to make sure they're all feeling okay and doing well. Granted, he does this over the space of two weeks as he begins cough up small flower buds rather than just petals, each more bloomed than the last. Just to make sure it isn't suspicious, being such a sudden change would probably make the team question it. 

Lance knows this, he does, but he makes sure to take care of them all in the way they need, when they allow him. 

When he's not wanted or needed, he spends his time in the library. It's nice, in there, and he spends most of his time reading as many of the history and culture books about Altea as possible. Usually, admittedly, he would read the books equivalent to Teen Romance back on Earth (since he's a sucker for that, he's not ashamed to admit that). 

He spends time listening to Shiro's worries and fears, helping him to get it off his chest, therefore allowing him to be in better shape for when they need him the most. 

He listens to Pidge ramble on at him about their inventions or theories or family, making sure to cover them in a blanket when they ultimately fall asleep. 

Hunk often makes him food to try, or just sits and talks with him about anything and everything. 

And Coran always seems to appreciate his ear when he talks about Altea or just his past, as well as a helping hand when it comes to cleaning. 

He avoids Keith when unnecessary to see him, but tries to not make it obvious, and he generally doesn't spend time with Allura just because he doesn't want to annoy her. 

He keeps his mouth shut with unnecessary comments, doesn't brag as much over how well he's doing - though he is improving! - and tries to refrain from being insulted when he's indirectly treated as a lesser member of the team - though he knows he is, and even if they don't mean it in a harsh way. 

It's when he wakes up coughing in the middle of the night, hacking blood onto his hand as thorns scrape up his throat before he just reaches in and grabs the flower stem without touching the petals and pulls, ignoring the pain and fact he's gagging so much. 

It's a white rose, and he doesn't miss the irony of it. 

Only a matter of hours, now, he knows. And he would prepare to leave; the way he planned to when he knew this exact moment was to come, but the alarms go off. And he can't help but think about how it could just be some kind of poetic justice or some such crap as he left the rose on his pillow at an awkward angle because he'd thrown it down in his haste to get to his armour. 

And he knows, as soon as Shiro gives him the job to make sure the ship is ready to blow through the comms, that this is probably a better opportunity to make sure he's gone, or dead, without them questioning it. 

He would have left his bayard on Blue, but the growling in his head at his thoughts made it impossible. 

The tightness, impossible tightness that it is, makes it difficult to breathe as he runs, and he's heaving, practically ready to pass out, when he got to the final deck that was going to blow. It was below every single one, and he was in the hangar with small transport ships, which had basic protective measures and a cloak on them. 

_"Lance, you making your way back up and ready for me to set them off?"_ he hears through the comms from Pidge, the one to work out the alien version of them, making sure they're connected. 

"Yeah, I'm good," he replies, his now-natural panting making it seem like he's already running. But he isn't. He'd already ordered Blue to leave with the others without him, explaining that he wasn't coming back for her because he just _couldn't_. She didn't understand fully, but she could see how much he wanted - needed - it, and reluctantly allowed him it. 

Instead he makes his way to one of the small ships and sets it for one of the small moons of the planet they had been protecting, apparently this one had civilisation, but he didn't mind since they were friendly. (Supposedly...)  

The ship began to explode as made his way off it, knowing he was far enough away from the lions if they hasn't wormholed away already that they wouldn't be able to see him as it was. 

Once he began coughing he set the ship on autopilot and allowed it to take him there as he hacked up more and more roses of different sizes, as well as the buds and single petals, all covered with splatters of blood, his throat screaming for release until he blacked out, almost at the surface of the moon as far as he could see through his lidded eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Nobody questioned that Lance wasn't with them once Pidge had confirmation he was at Blue over the comms, because they all saw Blue flying with them through the wormhole. 

Then they waited fifteen minutes for Lance to come from Blue. 

"I'll go check on him, see where he is," Hunk said before getting up from his seat and walking to Blue's hangar. 

He wasn't there. 

Hunk thought it was odd, sure, but figured he was just in his room or something, having a rest since he used more physical energy than the rest of them by running all over the large galra ship. 

So he went to Lance's room, knocking on the door and calling for him. 

No answer, so Hunk opened the door since it was unlocked. 

Hunk couldn't see him, even checking the bathroom to make sure he didn't fall asleep standing up or something in the middle of pampering himself - it had happened before. 

Then he caught a glimpse of white on his bed and walked over to it. 

Finding the white rose. 

"How did he get a ro- oh no..." Hunk whispered in fear, before going back to the others waiting for him with numb legs, tears building in his eyes. 

"Did anybody notice anything weird about Lance before today?" He asks, and Keith begins to ask the point of the question. Hunk cuts him off, "Answer it," he demands, voice colder than any of them imagine Hunk possible of. 

"Not particularly," Shiro answers for them, brows wrinkling in mild confusion. "Just that he didn't comment as much or brag as often." 

"I noticed things," Hunk says, as if Shiro hasn't spoken. "How his breathing was more laboured than usual, and he was coughing an awful lot. He began spending more time with us too, or rather, doing things he thought would make us happy. He stopped making comments that annoy us, he probably listened to every single one of us about what was bothering us, or what we just wanted to get off our chest, and never complained about it. I know for a fact he helped Coran clean more than usual, and tried more of my cooking experiments, and Pidge has woken up more times than they can count in the past few weeks that they've woken up with a blanket draped over them and a pillow under their head," Hunk speaks. "I thought he would talk to me about it, I knew he was acting stranger than usual, but not in a bad way or a way he usually wouldn't. I thought he would try and find a way to...not make it happen." 

"He didn't do anything like that with me," Keith points out, slight bitterness obvious. 

"Because he thought you hated him and it would make it happier for you to see him less," Hunk shrugs easily. 

"Hunk what are you talking about, where's Lance?" Pidge asks, mildly impatient for an answer. Hunk says nothing and only raises his hand to place the rose on the table in front of them all. A collective breath was taken. 

"How did he get this?" Shiro asks, and Hunk sits down once more. 

"Considering there's blood on it, I'm going to assume he coughed it up," Hunk answers, sarcasm evident in his voice. 

"W-why wouldn't he say anything?" Pidge asks, voice thickening with emotion. 

"Because he wouldn't want to bother us," Hunk answers easily. 

"Lance, not want to bother us? The guy who complains at everything he finds wrong?" Keith asks, trying to be harsh but his voice lacks the venom he wishes were there as his eyes mist over with unshed tears. 

"None of you really know him like I do, he doesn't complain about things that he should, he actually rarely complains at all over anything unless his favourite brand of moisturiser or make-up product is out, and even then it's not such a big deal," Hunk tries to explain. "The way he acts here, or when we attended Garrison, it's not...it's not him." 

"Then why does he act that way?" Allura asks, speaking up for the first time. 

"Because he doesn't want to show people how he really feels. He didn't tell anybody because he figured it would be better to just let us have some happy memories with him, where he helps us, or generally just makes us feel happier, and then he could die on his own, I'm his own terms," Hunk tells them. 

So he's dead?" Pidge's voice finally cracks as a few tears roll down their face. 

"The chances are? Probably, because if he didn't stick around to be blown up then it's been hours since this flower was coughed up - we don't even know how long before the alarms went off he coughed this up - meaning he'll have died some time not long after we wormholed here," Hunk points out. 

"We still have to try and find him, even if he's dead," Keith tells them, practically growling at them. 

"Do you think Blue could still track him?" Shiro asks Coran and Allura. 

"I don't know, it depends on what his life signs are like. We could probably find the last place he was before he died, if he is dead," Coran answers. His eyes are puffy from the onslaught of tears that streamed down his face when he first realised what the flower represented. 

Pidge nods. "And I could probably track his suit or bayard for specifics if he still has them and they aren't destroyed," they add. 

"Okay, you prepare that, Pidge, and the rest of us get ready for the wormhole, okay?" Shiro states. 

"Give me half an hour," Pidge nods in resolution before walking off. 

"Hunk, I need to speak to you," Shiro says and Hunk nods, staying where he's sat along with Coran and Keith, who Shiro doesn't dismiss. 

"What is it?" Hunk asks once Allura has gone to rest, preparing for the wormhole in some time. 

"You said none of us know Lance properly, which I can understand, so tell us, what was he like before Garrison?" Shiro asks, and Keith visibly perks at this, wanting to hear what he has to say. 

"Would you believe me if I told you Lance was a  virgin, not even having his first kiss yet?" Hunk asks, raising an eyebrow slightly. 

"No," Keith answers honestly. 

"Well he is," Hunk shrugs. "But people make assumptions." 

"But he flirts with every humanoid female we come across," Keith says. 

"Because before he was at the Garrison he was always teased relentlessly in school for it before. He wanted to change his image from being only a nerd at the top of every class to something else. He was always a little sensitive about it. He knows his flirting doesn't work, and he doesn't intend for it to either, as you can probably guess at from why we currently need to find him. He knows five languages aside from Spanish and English, with Spanish being his first obviously. He has five siblings - six, actually, since his mom was pregnant when he left Earth. All of them are sisters, aside from his now-youngest who could be a brother, but he doesn't know," Hunk tells them. 

"But, and no offence, but it doesn't add up to the Lance we know," Shiro points out. 

"Like I said, he changed his image before we entered Garrison. He was still all of the same things he was before Garrison - a hopeless romantic at the top of his class who struggled to _be_ at the top of his class due to ADHD that ran a spideypool blog on Tumblr and read fanfiction when he wasn't too busy or when he needed to relax. Not to mention all of his beauty and stuff. And the fact he played violin on occasion, not as often once we got to Garrison but he still kept it with him as it was a source of comfort. The only difference was that he kept it all hidden and didn't allow anybody to see anything other than a meme-loving flirt who actually struggles with sharpshooting at times due to not having contacts or his glasses." 

"We really don't know him at all," Shiro whispers guiltily, eyes widening in shame. 

"Don't blame yourself, he didn't want any of you to know," Hunk reassures him. 

"Why did he try so hard to hide himself?" Keith asks. 

"He was bullied a lot in elementary school and middle school, and high school. They made him feel ashamed, not only for his family, but for his intelligence, and his looks. It's why he tried so hard to become a fighter pilot, he wanted it so badly so that he could prove himself to his bullies that he can actually do things they wanted to as well but don't have the ability. But then you came along Keith, no offence, and you were so much better than him.

"He didn't hate that you were so good, he was just...so envious. You came along out of nowhere and destroyed all the hard work he had done. And even then, when he was made fighter pilot, he had to listen to how you were so much better and he would never be as good as you. It was completely contradictory to everything he was used to hearing. He knew seven languages, was a prodigy on violin, top of every class he ever went into and light years ahead of the rest, even with ADHD, and then he was basically hearing that he was a failure despite being second in the class to you." Keith looked down guiltily and twisted his fingers together, causing Hunk to sigh. 

"I'm not blaming you for being as good as you were, you couldn't help it and you worked hard as well, but it was just a kick in the backside to him really, and he didn't blame you either. He respected you so much as well. Plus, I know, this will be like a kick to the gut considering the situation we're currently in, but he loved you. He would never admit it freely or recklessly, but I know he had a crush on you in Garrison, and that would only have grown the more he got to know you out here. It's another reason he wouldn't have said anything about it, probably, because he would rather not be rejected if he was going to die anyway, so he would only hide it." Keith let his tears flow freely now, at hearing that. It was like a kick to the gut, like Hunk said, but it was also so much more than that. 

"Can I?" He croaked, motioning to the white rose on the table, and Hunk nodded, so he picked it up and began twisting the stem in his fingers. "It's beautiful," he whispered, silently adding, _Just like him._

"It is," Hunk nods, just as Pidge walks back into the room with a fierce look on their face despite the obvious fact they've been crying. 

"It's ready, get the princess and let's go," they say in a strong voice, before walking back out without waiting for confirmation from them. 

"I'll get the princess," Shiro says with a nod before standing and walking off to find her. 

Not long later the castle is going through the wormhole and the paladins are going to the lions, Allura with Shiro and Coran with Hunk as they walk towards their hangars. 

There was a roar that shook the castle from Blue, and Pidge then ran quickly to allow her to get out before going to Green; Red, Yellow, and Black following closely behind Blue, Green speeding to get closer to them. 

The small moon was quite lush with greenery, and it was obvious that civilisation lived there by how they could see buildings despite landing in jungle-like territory. 

Pidge brought the tracker out with them and began following the signal with the others close behind them. As they got closer to the buildings they could hear aliens going about their business and followed the noises, only to be surrounded quickly by guards with weapons pointed at them. 

Pidge was looking down when they were stopped short by Hunk grabbing their shoulder so they didn't walk into the, clearly electrified, spear in front of their chest. 

"Who are you?" The leader of them asked. 

"Paladins of Voltron?" Hunk managed to say, though it came out as a question. 

"Ah, so you know Lance then?" One asks as they lower their weapons. 

"We're his friends," Pidge answers shortly, holding themselves up prouder. 

"Then you must come with us," he says, and turns before walking, the paladins follow, not knowing what else to do but having no choice since they seem to know where Lance is. 

"You have to forgive our use of weapons immediately. Though we are a peaceful civilisation, you can never underestimate others who land here. We would only use them if absolutely necessary," he explains, and the others nod. "Lance has been singing your praises ever since he woke from the surgery." 

"Surgery?" Allura questions. 

"Yes, you knew he was suffering with Flowers of Heart disease as of recently, yes?" 

"We only learnt a few hours ago," Hunk tells them. 

"Yes, well, we are not unfamiliar with the disease of course, and we managed to cut down the flowers by half his lung capacity. This allowed us to give him the choice to explain to the one named Keith how he feels should he have wished to when he awoke. We did not know his circumstances of course and so did not cut them down all the way - we try to avoid that if possible." Keith blushed at the mentioning of his name, the feeling of guilt coming forward, despite the happy bubbling that he would see Lance soon. 

"Where is Lance?" Hunk asks warily. 

"He is with our Queen and King, talking to them about everything they wish to know, from Earth to the rest of the universe, to you paladins. Though we are advanced in our own civilisation, we rarely go outside of our territory, the moon, unless it is for business purposes and trade. We prefer to advance ourselves than get involved in conflict that is not ours to become involved in." 

"So he's okay then?" Keith asks with a smile. 

"Well," the alien answers, tilting his head slightly. "I cannot say for certain if he is. As the disease is affecting him at a much quicker rate since being cut down. It will leave him dead in less than three days, despite it would usually lasting a few months at the position we cut it to the first time around." 

They arrive at the castle within several more minutes, and are brought to the main dining room where Lance is talking excitedly to the king and queen, a small child on the queen's lap. He doesn't notice them at first, but they all take a moment to appreciate the look of happiness on his face, it's one they've never seen before because it is simply so genuine and happy, the only one coming close to it when he makes noticeable improvements in training. 

The king and queen, and their child, seem to be enjoying what Lance is saying, at any rate, looks of fascination on their faces as they listen to him. Their faces long and they stand tall, even when sat down, full of grace and their light orange skin glowing. Lance is no longer dressed in his usual clothes or armour, but similar to the king and queen with loose fabric falling over his shoulders like ancient Greek chiton. 

"Lance!" Keith exclaims happily, the others smiling brightly with him but none making a move to come closer, and Lance jumps in his seat before freezing. The king and queen look over to see the paladins standing their with one of their leading guards and they smile kindly. 

"Hi guys!" Lance tells them with a large, though obviously fake, smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me like an hour max and the final chapter should be up??? Hopefully, anyway, I hope you enjoyed. this chapter involved pretty much every headcanon for Lance that I have regarding his life before Garrison, because???? well hey why not??? So there's that, also I just really wanted to give their point of view on what happened once Lance was gone so??? And it's only a few hours of difference, but timing is probably unrealistic and off, but y'know, let's pretend it makes sense, who knows how alien operations work amirite??? Anyyyyway I'm gonna go finish the last chapter


	3. Chapter 3

There was lots of noise around him after an unknown amount of time in silence, everything still black and painful; noise he didn't recognise, but he knew he hadn't crash-landed and knew the only immediate danger to him was the civilisation on this moon. 

He was touched, and moved, and transported (he guessed) over a few more periods of noise, and silence, and then he didn't feel anything anymore. He couldn't think, he couldn't hear, and then the pain in his throat was gone and all he could think of was that the pain of dying wasn't nearly as bad as he expected. 

But he woke up. 

He woke up and there was no pain, but the tickle of his throat was back. He sat up groggily and looked around. He was in a fairly blank room that had a bedside table beside him that held a glass of water and a bunch of white roses and their buds. So it was real then, what happened, and he recalled leaving the galra ship alone and sending Blue back and not saying goodbye- but it was better this way, they would find a better paladin than himself for Blue and it would be okay. 

He looked down at what he was wearing and the feeling of the soft material that came halfway down his thighs, pinched at the waist and loose around his shoulders with a large neckline but long sleeves. On his feet were simple ankle boots, made out of a material similar to leather in an off-white colour the same as his clothes. 

The door to his right opened and in walked a tall alien, he was unsure of their species at all, though easily seven foot at least. They were a light orange colour, almost peach, with short black hair that went to their cheekbones. Cheekbones that were high, seemingly impossibly close to their too-large blue eyes that didn't have a pupil. They were sharp angles and dressed in more layers than him, carrying a tablet in their hand. 

"Good afternoon," they greet, and Lance smiles awkwardly. "My name is G'etyhr, and I was the one to commit you to surgery." 

"I'm Lance," he answers kindly. 

"There are a lot of questions that need to be asked to you, but first I am to tell you exactly what has been done while you were under." Lance nods in agreement. "You are aware you were suffering with the Flowers of Heart disease, yes?" Lance nods. "We have not cured you completely, because we are not such a cruel race to do so without your permission if we did not know the circumstances under which you gained and suffered with Flower of Heart's. However you should know that it will come back at a much quicker rate, due to it not being completely gone. It will be three days before you are at such a state again, so you must decide what you want to do before that time comes. Now, in several minutes a guard shall be here to escort you to the queen where you will answer several of her questions and she will decide what happens to you after that." Lance nods and then reaches to the cup at the side to drink from, feeling his throat in only mild pain compared to just a few hours ago, as G'etyhr leaves. 

A knock on the door comes shortly afterwards, just as promised, and in walks G'etyhr with somebody else, who even without a weapon is so obviously a guard of some sort. 

"Lance, this is Ishkla, and he will be escorting you to see the queen." Lance nods at G'etyhr and follows Ishkla from the room closely, him being much taller than G'etyhr, being wary of the few eyes he sees following him as he leaves the building and walks towards a castle, but it is smaller than the castleship he is used to. 

He is led to a dining room, he guesses, where an elegant queen, made obvious by the crown she wears, sits calmly with a seat prepared to her right with a plate of native fruit in front of it. She smiles kindly at him when he walks in and she motions for him to sit in the chair before waving the guard off, who leaves with a bow. 

"Hello," she greets him. 

"Hi," he says back, nervous as he cautiously starts to eat. 

"I have several questions for you, and you are to answer then," she instructs, and Lance only nods at her because what else would he do? "Where are you from?" She begins. 

"Earth," he answers automatically.  "In the Milky Way galaxy, but I was a paladin of Voltron for some time now," he explains with reason as to how he's so far from there. 

"Those are a myth, are they not?" She questions, raising a brow at him in suspicion. 

"They were," he agrees. "But the Blue lion was found on Earth by my friend, and I was her pilot." 

"Was?" She questions. 

"I am no longer her pilot. When I found out I was so close to death from Hanahaki - what you call Flowers of Heart - we were called on a mission. I ordered her to leave without me as I got onto a spare shuttle I found. Though I knew I was going to die, I did not want it to be from an explosion," he tells her, continuing to eat. 

"You did appear to be no obvious danger to us aside from your weapon, but I can see you mean us no harm," she nods, causing him to smile in agreement. "What do you wish to do about the disease, as far as I have been told they have pushed it back but it will return in a matter of days," she says, and he nods this time. 

"I shall suffer with it. Even if my team were to come back for me after finding me somehow, then I would not want to forget the one I love, and the chances were I would never get to return to my family as it is anyway," Lance explains sadly. 

"Tell me about them," the queen insists kindly. 

"He is amazing! He's so strong and smart and powerful! He isn't very good with other people, I admit, but it's rather endearing, I've found." 

"He sounds very nice. Like a very good mate to protect you," she says with a sad smile. 

They move the topic onward, talking about Earth and how Lance got from there to here, all of the things he has done as a paladin and what his team is like. When the king and their daughter come in, Lance begins to talk about family. 

"I have two older sisters and three younger sisters. When I left Earth, my mamá was pregnant with another sibling, but I do not know their name or even their gender. But I love them all very much. My older sisters often played with me when I was younger. They would dress me up in their old dresses and do my make-up. They showed me everything I know about skin-care and taking care of my body. Before I left my family for the Garrison, I also began showing my younger siblings how to do the same as well-" 

"Lance!" Lance jumped at the sound of his name in that voice before freezing still, before turning to see them all staring at him with various smiles on their faces. 

"Hi guys!" He says with a wide, obviously fake, smile as he looks at them, swallowing thickly. 

"We were so worried about you!" Hunk tells him, and Lance has to look down in guilt at that, but the queen smiles at him, he sees from the corner of his eye, and stands up with their child on her hip and telling him that they'll be back soon, before motioning her husband out of the room. 

"So...you guys found me," he says after some time when they're all sat at the table. 

"Did you think we wouldn't?" Keith asks, and Lance shrugs a little. 

"Of course we found you," Pidge says, slightly indignant. 

"Well I thought I was dead before I even reached the surface of the moon so I didn't really pay much thought to it," Lance says with nonchalance before hacking a cough for the first time since waking, grimacing as he wipes blood on his nice, clean clothes. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shiro asks. 

"What would be the point?" Lance asks seriously. "You guys couldn't exactly do anything about it, there was no stopping it, and then you could find another paladin for Blue." 

"But she doesn't want another paladin," Allura points out. 

"I know, it was so hard to make her leave without me," Lance rolls his eyes at his Lion's stubbornness. "But it will be better this way," Lance shrugs easily. 

"It will not!" Allura says in outrage, mildly taken back. 

"Yes it will, because then there will be nobody holding her or any of you back," he says as though it's obvious. 

"But you aren't holding us back?" Keith says in confusion and frustration, causing Lance to roll his eyes again. 

"I'm not as intelligent as any of you, nor do I have the same skill that you guys do, I'm lacking in pretty much every area no matter how hard I try because I'm half-blind without contacts or glasses and it took me so long to get used to shooting like that. The only reason Blue picked me was because I was the only one to meet her criteria from the group of five humans present. Then we formed a bond. There are still plenty more people and aliens out there who are more suitable for her." 

"How can you say you're not smart Lance?" Hunk asks with scrunched eyebrows. "I'm fairly certain none of us know seven languages-" 

"That's easy when you learn the routine to it," Lance interjects. 

"Took advanced classes through pretty much your entire schooling, including when they skipped a grade, and, like you said, you struggle to see without glasses so how you manage to hit anything as accurately as you do amazes me," Hunk says. Lance blushes, the only reaction he can think to have. 

"That was on Earth, and this is the universe. There's a difference. Who cares if I understand seven languages, or know advanced molecular biology, I can't do the same things you guys can. I'm not able to do advanced engineering-" 

"You never took an interest in it," Hunk points out. "Yet you could probably name the majority of battle tactics throughout history along with who used them in what battle and the outcome," Hunk says. "You could also transpose pieces of music for your violin in half the time that most other people our age, even when they were taking it for as long as you. Your scores were only second to Keith throughout the entire time at the Garrison-" 

"And I had to hear about it for a year after he left no matter how hard I tried and managed to improve!" Lance bursts out, cheeks reddening further when he sees Keith look down a little. 

"The point is," Hunk placates gently. "Is that you're intelligent. Just in different ways to us. But that doesn't mean you're not a part of this team any less than any of us."

"It doesn't matter either way, I only have several days left, so you are free to do as you please," he tells them. 

"Why would you not have the operation?" Keith asks, and there's an almost deafening silence in the room, nobody knowing what else to say. 

"There's an array of consequences which I could not bear to face if I _were_ to undergo the operation. Yes, not everybody has the same results, but there is always one thing the same - you forget your love for that person, including them and your memories involving them, and are unable to fall romantically in love again. Frankly, I don't care about not being able to fall in love again, that's fine by me. But I could not bear to not remember them. It wouldn't be fair to anybody, and I don't even _want_ to forget them. This way, everybody gets a happy ending-" 

"Except you!" Keith burst, looking at the others as he breathed out, making eye contact with Shiro in particular as he calmed down. 

"Keith, would you like to talk to Lance alone?" Allura asks, causing Lance to stand and yell his objections as Keith answers with a calmed "Yes," prompting the rest to leave. 

"We'll be in the hallway," Coran says as he leads them back out through the doors. 

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Keith asks.

"Do what?" 

"Torture yourself, push yourself so far down that you can't get back up again. It's not-" his breath catches in his throat. "It's not fair to you Lance. Forget about everybody else for a second, think about you, and you alone. Would you want yourself to end because you couldn't buck up and admit some feelings? You! I know, Hunk told us about your act, that you're not as confident as you make out, but you could have used that fake confidence and said it. You could have used that fake confidence and _said_ it and _told me_. If I thought it a joke I would have just punched you." Lance sat down as he listened to Keith, shame-faced, trying to hide the coughs making their way up his throat by rubbing at it lightly. "And think about your family. We might never make it back, that's true. And that's a sad fact, truly, but how do you think any of us or our successors would feel if we managed to get home and we had to deliver the news that you died before any of us because you were scared. Goddammit Lance! I understand why it was so hard for you, to an extent, wouldn't want to say it, but for us to have to tell your _family_? If it were any other reason, if you died in battle it would have been easier, it would have been something to be remembered by! Not that what you've already done now isn't to be proud of - it is, it really really is - but think about if we had to tell your mother and sisters and everybody else that you died because you couldn't tell me that you loved me," Keith breathed, eyes wide and slightly frantic. 

"I get it, okay, I do. It's sad, it's _pathetic_ that it's going to end like that for me but-" he cut himself off as he began coughing up petals uncontrollably, Keith rushing to his side around the table and rubbing his back while he coughed into his hand, throwing down the petals when e was finished but his breathing laboured as he rubbed his forehead in his hands tiredly, relaxing unconsciously at the feeling of Keith rubbing his fingers into his neck in soothing motions, stroking at the ends of his hair every few moments. 

"Lance, it's...kind of sad, that you don't know how you effect the people around you. Ignoring all the intelligence you usually hide from us, you don't seem to notice how much you make us happy. You hold us all together, and who the hell knows what would happen to any of our sanity's if you weren't around. Just Pidge _alone_ would be enough to drive us all mental, don't you think?" Keith teases, moving to stand behind Lance with a more obvious movement of stroking his hair, smiling wider when Lance lets a weak laugh out. "So..." Keith starts lightly again after a moment. "Anything you'd like to tell me?" 

"Yeah," Lance answers. "How'd you find out?" Lance asks simply, still not moving his head from his hands, but making it clear he had no hard feelings about it. 

"Hunk suspected, and told me and Shiro," Keith answers, shrugging even though Lance can't see it, and he only hums in return. "So?" Keith asks again. 

"I love you," Lance says, no hesitation even if his voice is quiet. 

"I love you too." He presses a kiss to the back of Lance's head before he takes several gasping breaths while the feelings in his lungs recede because of the flowers dying, only offering gentle touches as he weakly coughs out the final lot of petals just a minute later. "You can come back guys," Keith calls to the others in the hall, despite the door, and they walk back in with somewhat sheepish expressions. 

"Happy ending?" Hunk asks with a preemptive smile.

"Eventually," Lance answers with a tired smile. "We should wait for the queen to come back," he continues, but they didn't have to wait long as she walked in barely five minutes later with her husband and daughter once more. 

"Lance," she greets warmly with a matching smile, carrying his armour and bayard from before he arrived. "I trust that you have made your final decision?" Her question is merely formality, from the way she glances at Keith stood behind him with a tender look on his face. 

"I have. Thank you, I can't express how grateful I am to you for this second chance," he tells her, tired but genuine. 

"You have nothing to thank me for, we would do it for anybody. I am just glad you get this end, it is not the same for everybody," she sighs sadly, but smiles at Pidge when they and Hunk offer to take Lance's things from her and she passes them off before turning back to Lance. "I believe, then, it is time for you to leave. However I do invite you and your entire team to come at any time whatsoever, you are always welcome here whenever you need or want to visit. We shall always offer you hospitality," she explains. 

"Thank you," Lance tells her kindly, before standing despite his slight imbalance. 

"Want me to carry you?" Keith asks when he sees Lance's unsteady movements, but he shakes his head and walks towards the others with Keith not far behind. 

They leave the castle and the guard escorts them back to the lions so they won't be lost, Lance having giving up walking when he was out of breath and halfway to dead on his feet barely metres after leaving the castle and resting his cheek on Keith's shoulder from getting a piggy-back ride so comfortable he almost fell asleep. (Something he did do once inside Blue, on the way back to their castleship with companionable chatter from his friends in his ear after putting on his helmet for the short trip back. Blue's comfortable hum surrounding him with happiness and calm easing him into a lulled sleep.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This is like. Honestly it feels a little forced and I can't work out why. Maybe I'll go back later and change it and stuff, but for now I'm going to leave it as is. My tumblr is [sweetassaliens](http://http://sweetassaliens.tumblr.com//) if you wanna check that out but of course you don't have to, it's cool. Anyyywayy, this is finished and I'm not entirely happy with it but I'm not unhappy either? Idk maybe I'm just being weird about it or something. If you can advise me about it feeling forced then it's much appreciated, but I just hope you enjoyed this story. And, I know, the ending was...meh/ugh. I really couldn't think of much better tbh ((Sidenote: let's pretend that the time frame I'm working with here matches up. I can't work out how wrong it is??? Like, I know it's wrong, but I can't work out the specifics and I don't really want to either, so??? I guess the piece'll just suffer))
> 
> OH! ALSO! I based Lance's outfit put on him by the alien race off of an ancient Greek chiton if you couldn't tell. Idk I really like the idea of Lance wearing one of those??? Any of them, actually, I think they'd rock the look but whatever


End file.
